How to Cope with Change: Do Something Familiar

Ok so, you're developing some simple routines, letting yourself just be where you are even when it's a bit ugly, & remembering to laugh because life is funny. What else?

The fourth thing that helps me cope with change is to take a bit of time to do something familiar.

For me, this is real simple:

I find a slot of time.
I pick up a book.
I sit down on my bed.
And I read for as long as possible.

When I put the book down & go about the rest of my day, I feel like a new person.

There are lots of things you can do to get a taste of the familiar when everything around you is changing.

Working out.
Cooking a meal.
Watching your favourite movie.
Getting outside.
Going somewhere familiar like Starbucks.

Figure out what refreshes you & find a bit of time to do it.

Doing something familiar can give you just the energy you need to get back to coping with all the unfamiliar things that come with change.

McGonagall reading via BuzzFeed

How to Cope with Change: Learn to Laugh

Change requires a great sense of humour. If you can't laugh at yourself & at all the crazy stuff that happens along the way, you are going to have a hard time.

When you're in the middle of change, it's easy to make mistakes. Suddenly everything is new & different. When I moved to England, I couldn't even go grocery shopping or to the bank without screwing something up. Being able to laugh off all those little mistakes was a good skill to have.

Laughter helps you cope & keep perspective. Plus it's fun. I love being around people who have faced the difficulties of life & have decided to laugh anyway.

So let go a bit & laugh at yourself. Lighten up. And find a few things that make you laugh.

Things that make me laugh...

Thank You Notes by Jimmy Fallon. I laugh uncontrollably when I read it.

For some reason, Friends is the one show that always makes me laugh, no matter what is happening or how I'm feeling.

Books that are light & funny, like Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me, Ellen's book, or anything by P.G. Wodehouse.

Everyone's sense of humour is different, so find the things that make you laugh. And have fun.

Because you can't control everything that's changing, but you can learn to laugh.

Picture of the Rat Pack laughing & messing about via: The Telegraph

How to Cope with Change: Feel What You Feel

Of the 5 things that help me cope with change, this one is the least pleasant. But it is also necessary & effective: feel what you feel.

I have lots of little (mostly healthy & productive) coping mechanisms that help me to not be consumed by my emotions during big transitions. But there are days when it doesn't help to distract yourself. Some days, you have to just sit down & feel what you feel.

Change is emotional. And change usually involves loss.

Even when you are gaining something good (like a new baby) you are losing something too (like your ability to sleep through the night.) Moving can be fun, exciting, an adventure. But that same move can also be disorienting, lonely & confusing.

For me, it usually takes a few days of scrambling around trying to fix everything. Finally I realize, I don't need to fix everything, I just need to be in it.

So keep developing some routines to help ground you in the chaos of change. And don't be afraid, once in a while, to just feel what you feel.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills -

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven & earth."

Psalm 121: 1 & 2

How to Cope with Change: Develop Simple Routines

"Major life changes - even positive ones - always involve stress."

The Expert Expat

Change is tricky. And sometimes it seems like everything is constantly changing.

Change can be negative (loss, illness, grief) or positive (new marriage, new relationship, new home.) Change can be big (new baby! new country!) or small (new responsibility, back-to-school.) But all change comes with a lot of disruption.

I'm not a big fan of change. It's so easy to lose your bearings when everything around you is shifting.

I've found 5 simple things that help me cope with change, big or small. The first thing is routine.

Develop Simple Routines

My tendency is to go overboard with this & try to overhaul my life. I suddenly decide I'm going to become a morning person & start getting up at 5am to go for a run.

But that never works. Don't get carried away & try to turn yourself into someone you've never been. Keep it simple. Figure out what's already working & add to it.

I think the keys to developing simple routines that actually work in your life are to only add one or 2 routines at a time (don't try to overhaul your whole schedule at once) & to add routines organically. Pay attention to your days & adopt routines accordingly. Don't try to stuff yourself into someone else's schedule.

My most consistent routine is my tea. The first thing I do every morning without fail is go to the kitchen & make a cup of tea. It's the exact same every day. I don't have to think about it or exert any effort. I even rotate between the same two mugs every day.

There are lots of simple routines that can help when you're in transition. Reading the Bible every morning. Working out. Grocery shopping on a certain day. For me, even TV is part of my routine. I like having certain shows that I watch on certain days. For some reason that works for me, helps give my week a rhythm.

So that's my first tip: develop simple routines. Come back on Mondays in September & October for a few more ideas on how to cope with change.